All About Estates

Grateful to have had time to say goodbye

It is with the heaviest of heart that I write today’s blog after saying my final goodbye to my mother. My mother often inspired my writings and most Monday’s she would send me a note, saying no more than ‘ hi lovey, good blog today’. It took a little while  to show her that if she hit reply, it went to the webmaster and that she could either forward or start a new  message to me. And she did.

We are never prepared and I, like so many before me, don’t really know how dark and deep one’s sadness can be.

My mom lived independently in Montreal and the isolation was tough on her. However as soon as we were able, which was just 2 weeks ago, we picked her up and drove her back to spend time here, with my family. She was happy and thrilled to be with us, and as she said, finally starting to feel like her old self. It was just not meant to be. Seven days later, she collapsed and less than 24 hours later, she died. Quickly, painlessly and so fortunately, not alone. I am comforted that she did not suffer and that truly, she lived fully- independently, witty and caring, right to the end.

Being a new member of the ‘orphan’s club’ is certainly one club you do not want to join.

My mom will continue to inspire me,my writings and my work and I am grateful to her.

 

About Audrey Miller
Email: amiller@eldercaring.ca About: Audrey Miller, Managing Director of Elder Caring Inc. has over 25 years social work and rehabilitation experience working with older individuals and their families. She advises the financial, insurance, legal and business communities regarding elder care issues. Audrey is a recognized expert in her field.

20 Comments

  1. Tracy Hatten

    June 22, 2020 - 1:04 pm
    Reply

    I’m so sorry Audrey – It is a horrific thing to go through. I am soooo happy that she was with you. Truly a blessing even though it may not look like one right now. My most heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

  2. Joelle Adelson

    June 22, 2020 - 1:28 pm
    Reply

    I am so sorry for your loss. It is just a little bit harder mourning a loss of this nature during this pandemic, without the friends and family who would otherwise be surrounding you. May her memory carry you through this difficult time.

  3. Larry Amstutz

    June 22, 2020 - 1:36 pm
    Reply

    Audrey my deepest sympathy to you and your family. Mother’s hold a special bond in our hearts and their loss is felt most deeply. A couple of weeks ago marked the 20th anniversary of my mom’s passing; so I have a sense of your pain today. Take strength and love from friends and family and the special bond you and your mother had.

    Best regards
    Larry

  4. Shelley

    June 22, 2020 - 1:57 pm
    Reply

    Very sorry for your loss Audrey. It is a tough club indeed. I too enjoy your blogs so thank you for continuing to write…

  5. Jennifer Campbell

    June 22, 2020 - 1:57 pm
    Reply

    I’ve enjoyed reading about your mother. My condolences to you and your family on her passing.

  6. Beverley Dowling

    June 22, 2020 - 2:01 pm
    Reply

    Thank you for posting this. There are far too many people who have not been able to say goodbye. I am sure everyone reading your post sends their condolences.

  7. Peggy Killeen

    June 22, 2020 - 2:01 pm
    Reply

    Audrey, my sincere condolences, I’m so sorry about your loss. It is good that you were able to spend the last weeks with her, especially at this time. I have been following your blog for years, I can imagine how proud she was of you and love that she took the time to let you know. Take care of yourself.

  8. Jodi Weber

    June 22, 2020 - 2:34 pm
    Reply

    “Hi Lovey,
    Good Blog today.”
    No more words
    Jodi

  9. Yolanda Benoit

    June 22, 2020 - 2:38 pm
    Reply

    Dear Audrey,
    My sincerest condolences for your loss. You were fortunate to have such a great relationship with your mom, and to have such a fan. And yes, how blessed she was to be “feeling herself” again and to be surrounded by those she loved. Do take care.
    From another fan

  10. Suzanne Singh

    June 22, 2020 - 2:39 pm
    Reply

    Audrey I’m sorry for your loss. I too have followed your blog for years. The personal side that you share is relevant and necessary to underscore the importance of your writings, something we can all relate to on one level or another. Best to you and your family at this time.

  11. Rick McBryer

    June 22, 2020 - 2:44 pm
    Reply

    Sad news Audrey. Thank you for sharing.

  12. Jim Kibble - Ontario Estate Consulting Solutions Inc.

    June 22, 2020 - 2:57 pm
    Reply

    Very sorry to hear of the passing of your Mother, Audrey.

    Wishing her continuing inspiration to be yours each new day.

  13. JOELLE ADELSON

    June 22, 2020 - 3:36 pm
    Reply

    I am so sorry for your loss. Mourning such a deep loss during this pandemic is even harder, without the comfort of family and friends surrounding us. May her loving memories be a comfort during this difficult time.

  14. Sarah Marshall

    June 22, 2020 - 5:21 pm
    Reply

    My sincerest condolences on the loss of your mom. Thankfully you were able to spend time with her before she passed. Take care.

  15. Leona Gonczy

    June 22, 2020 - 6:39 pm
    Reply

    Dear Audrey,
    How wonderful that you had your mother come back to visit and can cherish that memory and that she had family with her when she passed.

    Blessings,

  16. Pauline Morris

    June 22, 2020 - 7:11 pm
    Reply

    Audrey, I am so saddened to hear your news. Her memory is indeed a blessing. It’s wonderful that you had the privilege of being with her in this special way. Hold that strength in your heart.

  17. CAGP Toronto Chapter

    June 22, 2020 - 7:20 pm
    Reply

    Our thoughts are with you at this time.

  18. Cathy Williams

    June 22, 2020 - 9:10 pm
    Reply

    I am very sorry for your loss Audrey. I so enjoyed your mom’s thoughts that you posted recently. My husband and I are both members of the same club. It’s a tough go. May your memories sustain you and bring your comfort. Much love to you and your family.

  19. Vicki

    June 22, 2020 - 9:22 pm
    Reply

    It is such a profound loss. The love that you had for her will live on in your heart and memory! Be kind to yourself in the coming weeks.

  20. Nancy

    June 26, 2020 - 1:26 pm
    Reply

    Condolences on the loss of your mother, Audrey. You draw a beautiful picture in few words.

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