Transitions are not easy for anyone at any age. Reading the Saturday paper today, there were several articles on getting teens ready for campus life as they go off to university or college in a few weeks. Having experienced this in our own family, I scanned the articles based on interviews with “experts.”

As I read, two things came to mind: no two teens experience college life the same way and that moving away to school is similar to helping a parent move into retirement living. Many of the experiences and preparation for transition are identical, just at different ends of the age spectrum.

So, what can we learn from the similarities between going off to university and moving into retirement living?

Transitions mean change. And I think it’s fair to say that no one likes or easily embraces change. In my past management consulting practice, I often led teams through transformational organizational change. In the world of organizational change, John Kotter, a Harvard Business School professor, is considered a leading expert. And I’ve reflected often, some of his work is highly applicable to personal situations. Which means, we can learn from them in our two change scenarios.

Here are Kotter’s eight steps to manage organizational change.

1. Create a sense of urgency:Highlight the need for change, potential threats, and opportunities.
2. Form a powerful guiding coalition:Assemble a team with the necessary skills and influence to drive the change.
3. Create a vision for change:Develop a clear and compelling vision that guides the change process.
4. Communicate the vision:Effectively communicate the vision to all stakeholders, ensuring understanding and buy-in.
5. Remove barriers:Identify and eliminate obstacles that hinder progress, such as outdated systems or resistance.
6. Create short-term wins:Achieve quick successes to build momentum and demonstrate progress.
7. Consolidate gains and build on change:Continue building on the momentum of initial wins, making further changes as needed.
8. Anchor the changes in corporate culture:Embed the new behaviours and practices into the organization’s culture to ensure sustainability.[1]

If we were to apply Kotter’s steps to personal transitions for teens or people in their eighties, it might look like this.

1. Sense of Urgency. For your teen, it’s about pursuing higher education and gaining the freedom to live on their own. For the older person, it might mean the need for a more supportive and safer environment as health or mobility issues escalate.
2. Guiding Coalition or Team. Start well in advance of the transition to build your own transition team. Determine who can advise your family member with expert knowledge of the new environment. Speak to other persons and families who have attended that particular college or Retirement Home. University student services and Retirement Home staff are well-versed in transitions and concerns that might arise. Add your financial advisor to your team to help set a realistic budget for the first year and to discuss money management in paying bills, accessing cash, etc. And don’t forget the meals and food budget!
3. Create a Compelling Vision for Change. Your teen is embarking on their post-secondary education phase and may have mapped out some career ideas. For older individuals, it may be more challenging to accept the compelling vision of moving into a Retirement Home. It may take more time and encouragement to fully embrace the benefits of retirement living, such as not having to prepare meals, choosing social activities, entertaining friends in a supportive environment, and having personal support available when needed.
4. Communicate the Vision. Talking about the new move and making sure stakeholders, such as friends and family, know about it well in advance is key to success. With your teen, it may be easier as they are part of a graduating cohort who have been applying to various colleges and universities over the past year, have had a senior year of activities to look forward to, and may have other friends going to the same location or area. For the older person, it’s also helpful if friends and family can talk about the move in a positive way, underlining the benefits and arranging future family visits. It’s helpful if the older person can continue activities in their community, such as going to the community centre, church, or other clubs. And keeping the same community providers, such as dentists, doctors, physical therapists, chiropodists, bankers, and many others, can ease the transition.
5. Remove Barriers. Reflecting upon family experiences, this is probably the step we most often overlook and therefore don’t address. Actively identifying barriers needs to be done well in advance so they can be explored and addressed. For example, a teen going to college may be uneasy about their writing skills for essays. Explore this with student services, as they often have free online courses for first-year students to enhance their basic skills. For others, this may be their first time alone without family nearby and making new friends is not always easy. In retirement living, older family members may experience feelings of loneliness and struggle to make new friends. Family and staff can assist by exploring interests and hobbies and then matching up people with like interests. Mealtime is often a chance to meet new people or decide who you don’t want to sit with!
6. Create Short-Term Wins. Consider short-term wins from the minute the change starts. Setting up the dorm room or retirement suite can be the first one. Dorm rooms can be small and claustrophobic, so it’s important to map out the space and go with your essentials first. Retirement home living almost always means moving from a house or condo into a smaller suite. There are many professionals who can help the older person map out what works and what doesn’t in their new suite and recreate their “perfect space” with their own furniture and belongings. What are some key essentials for a smaller living space? Consider an oscillating quiet tower fan for those hot summer days. A full-length mirror on the back of a door is also handy. A two- or three-drawer storage facility can provide extra bathroom space. Additionally, different types of lighting can be helpful.
7. Consolidate Gains and Build on Change. Build on those short-term wins! Reassess within a month or two and consider what else you can do to address any barriers and create new fun or joy. Everyone likes to get mail and presents. Care packages to teens are very popular and well-received. In retirement living, holding a small party or bringing in special treats may well help to cement a positive experience.

Transitions, whether launching a teen into university life or guiding a loved one into retirement living, require foresight, planning, and a steady hand. By adapting proven change management principles to personal milestones, families can replace uncertainty with confidence and create an environment where independence and dignity remain at the forefront. The effort invested in preparation today can make the difference between a stressful upheaval and a smooth, positive new beginning.

[1] https://www.kotterinc.com/methodology/8-steps/