All About Estates

“‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” -Alfred Lord Tennyson

I blogged about ‘Love after Loss- Part 1’ several years ago. My blogging colleagues have described many estate and trust issues resulting from subsequent marriages. However today’s blog continues with the acknowledgement that older individuals can enjoy another meaningful, satisfying and loving relationship after the death of a significant other.

The grieving process is different for everyone. I know some who say they will never love again after losing a spouse. For many older individuals, I have been told that their spouse was their one and only love. The thought of loving again, they feel, is a dishonour or disgrace to the deceased and would in same way, diminish the love they felt.

Others say that loving again is the best way to honour someone’s memory; it acknowledges and celebrates the joy once experienced. They want to feel that way again.

After providing care to her late husband in 1998 and with another boyfriend some years later who died,  she said ‘never again’.  However, she was lucky. After several years she met another man  who loved her dearly and she him.  They spent most of their time together and they felt very blessed. A few months ago, he became ill and she became his caregiver too. Sadly, their love affair was short lived as he passed away last week.  She is heart broken and once again has said ‘never again’.  While she knows she has been lucky in having had this loving relationship, the death of her friend feels overwhelming.  I do know however that she does agree with the Tennyson quote.

About Audrey Miller
Email: amiller@eldercaring.ca About: Audrey Miller, Managing Director of Elder Caring Inc. has over 25 years social work and rehabilitation experience working with older individuals and their families. She advises the financial, insurance, legal and business communities regarding elder care issues. Audrey is a recognized expert in her field.