My colleague blogged previously on collaborative law as an approach to consider in resolving estate disputes. I think this is a perfect topic for Valentine’s Day. Many, if not most couples, are initially in love. I think most families are started because of love yet what happens to the strength and love of a family over the years is questionable. We often see conflicts that result in litigation and feuding with a lot of money and time being spent. I don’t know what happens within families nor can I provide comment on how to avoid it. What I can suggest is a process that brings family members together in terms of planning and providing care for their older family member.
Hiring a Geriatric Care Manager to assess the individual and to provide an objective analysis of what the older individual needs, is an excellent starting place. An in home assessment will look at their: functioning, including physical, cognitive and emotional components as well as any caregiver related issues. The areas of need are identified with recommendations outlined with their best interests as the priority. This report serves as a blueprint for planning the care of an older individual. While families may continue to disagree at least there is a way to make sure the mom or dad’s needs have been appropriately documented with recommendations and resources identified.
Eleven Reasons to Hire a Professional Geriatric Care Manager:
1. We are professionals who have the knowledge, training, and experience to do what you are trying to do without it.
2. We can do in 2 hours what it would take you 2 weeks to do.
3. We know how to get around that “I’m saving for a rainy day” syndrome, when your folks are drowning in their problems.
4. We’re much cheaper than the cost of plane fare if you have to fly into town when your parents say “everything is fine” but you know it isn’t.
5. We can provide advice on which nursing/retirement residence is right for your parents.
6. We can make your parents hear what you have said over and over again, but they refuse to listen because to them, you are still a child.
7. We can tell your annoying sibling to keep quiet, but graciously.
8. We’ve helped families a lot worse than yours.
9. Your dad can’t push our buttons.
10. Next time you want to hang up on your mother, you can tell her to call us.
11. We’re available, so you don’t have to be.
( Adapted from “Inside GCM,” Winter, 2005, Phyllis Brostoff)
Happy Valentine’s Day. –Audrey Miller